We have created a safe space. It’s just us making something in the kitchen. There’s no judgement, we have a mission to accomplish, and we are working side by side. It may look like we are just making a recipe (or an herb garden), but it is so much more than that. Cooperation, communication, respect. This is what’s really going on. We are practicing until we get good at this relationship.
We’ve created a safe place for our thoughts. Any topic and all conversation is welcome.
This is our time. It has been set aside. He has my attention, and I am listening. There are empty spaces in the conversation that can be filled.
This time is so powerful.
We have committed to once a week. This means guaranteed one-on-one time where we can catch up, create, and work on our relationship. How often do we spend a dedicated hour with one of our kids? It’s weekly therapy for both of us and it doesn’t cost anything. Catching up, staying connected, building trust, improving communication in a non-threatening and casual environment.
I am always surprised by what’s on his mind. Some of the conversation is about routine stuff, but at least once in the hour or so that we spend together, we talk about something unexpected. Something that he wanted to share, or needed help with, that I wanted and needed to know about. At those moments I’m so glad we’re here together.
A friend mentioned recently, that our videos have inspired her to cook more often with her husband. Seems like all the same benefits are here for spouses. Safe space, time together, working as a team, plenty of empty spaces for sharing what’s on your mind. It’s a great idea.
It used to feel like a head-on collision every time Ari and I tried to talk. As we share this space in the kitchen we continue to work on it and smooth out those bumps. We continue to perfect this team thing.
How much of it is really about the cooking? Well some. There is always a focus on healthier foods, preparing your own meals, and how important eating right is for overall good health. The biggest benefit, though, is that we have learned how to communicate and we get to take this with us wherever we go. It takes some effort to remember. Old patterns sneak in and sometimes we still collide, but there are far fewer crashes, hurt feelings, raised voices, and so many more laughs and smiles. If you want to connect with your kids, try the kitchen.